Those things you know how to do, but don’t know why


I don’t know much about Die Valkyrie. I know there is woman named Brunhilde and she wears horns and it’s part of the ring cycle and it’s all very grand. What I do know is that there are things called leitmotifs that are traced all though the opera that make a kind of cheat sheet or passcode when you’re supposed to be feeling a certain way or know when a certain character is due to fuck shit up. They’re not just for opera. You can use them just about everywhere.

For years I woke up to David Bowie’s Queen Bitch. The three city rail chimes are always pretty frustrating. The fanfare of the Fox title card at the start of a movie always makes me vaguely disappointed I’m not watching Star Wars. Little bars of music that repeat now and again to remind you that you’re a good person, or that you’re supremely powerful or you’re a good person who does bad things because you’re under the hammer. A god’s hammer most like. Or you’re about to miss your train.

My old housemate Harry gave me a signature dance. We were making  show and I was being very earnest about it and there was a dance scene and Harry gave me a dance. You stand very still, then at a key moment in the song, the peak, you jump up with your arms by your side and try to touch your feet with your head.

Acceptable points in songs to do ‘The Tim’;

Basement Jaxx – Red Alert 2:15

Art vs Science – Parlez Vous Francais 0:44

Beyonce – Countdown 0:37, 2:09 & 3:30

If you find other points, let me know and I’ll tell you if they’re acceptable.